Love, Faith, Respect

There are many ways to have a happy marriage.  What works for one couple may not work for another.  But the basics ring true for all...and they can be summed up in 3 words:

                   FAITH                          RESPECT                                   LOVE

I don't care who you are, without these you have nothing. FAITH : confidence or trust in your spouse.  RESPECT : a sense of the worth (and or excellence) of your spouse.  LOVE : a profoundly tender, deep passionate affection for your spouse.

I think that people throw the word LOVE around way too much and without truly understanding the meaning. Love is something that is built.  It is not found, it is not instantaneous.  It is not something you feel for a person, then next week you have a new "love", it just doesn't work that way at all.  I think a lot of people feel lust, possibly a strong like, but actually do not truly love.  Call me wrong, but at least hear me out.  

My husband and I were together for a year and half before we married.  That seems to be about average I guess.  What I don't understand are the ones that are together for less than a year and marrying.  I think it takes at least a full year to really to get to know someone.  Sure you think you love that person soon into the relationship, but that is the lust speaking.  That is why I say it is not instant.  But it makes for a great story to tell everyone it was love at first sight, huh? lol  I had very strong feelings for my husband when we first started dating, those feelings turned into love.  And as great as he is, it was not instant love. That is not possible.  Once I got to know more about him, that love started to flourish and look at us now! :)

LOVE is built, and it grows with the relationship.  Its awesome when the lust turns to love, and I bet most of us do not even realize when that happens.  I honestly cannot tell you when the lust turned into love.  I just cannot remember a day that I didn't love my husband.  We have been together now for nearly 4 years and it is hard to remember life without him.  As he puts it, "It just seems like you have always been there, I don't remember you not being there"...that folks is a good man who will never be back on the market! :)  

RESPECT : It goes both ways.  Never make your spouse feel like your enemy.  If you are having a bad day, talk it out...do NOT take it out on them.  They can be a sound board for venting, but don't use them to lash out.  Do nice things for each other.  Don't leave all the sweet little things to just one of you.  If you receive, you should give back.  Little things mean a lot.  Along with respect is value.  You have to value what is done for you, whether it is done out habit, kindness and just because.  

And FAITH: There is a very thin line of difference between trust and faith.  It is very important to trust your partner and have faith in yourself to keep your marriage strong.  Do not let past experiences dictate your future.  The past is the past for a reason.  Leave it there, move on and have faith that your marriage is meant to last a lifetime.  

Faith is powerful and moving...and does not always have to mean religion.  Faith is a strong belief, and your marriage deserves a strong belief!  Your spouse will be there for you when others are not.  Your spouse has put you first, above themselves.  You should do the same. 

It comes down to this folks...without FAITH, RESPECT, and LOVE...you have nothing.  A marriage cannot function on any one of those alone, it has to be all three.  Of course you will have your moments of disagreements and not so easy going days, but as long as you have each other and have faith, respect and love backing you up, you are going to last a lifetime...and be better for it.  Ahhhhhhh, happiness! 

The Normal Family?

Normal, you see that word everywhere.  What exactly is normal? Well let's just Google it! Normal: conforming to a standard; usual; typical or expected; ordinary.  Where's the fun in that?  We are anything but normal, and we like it!    


Sure, we know how to behave in public when needed.  Heck we can even be prim and proper when the situation calls for it.  That is why I like to think of us as more like a versatile family, we fit that description much better!  Versatile: capable of doing many things competently; able to adapt; changeable; and better yet, INCONSISTENT!  Yeah, that is us!  And its not as bad as it sounds! It just means we can fit in anywhere, to what degree depends on us.  It is one of the things that keeps our marriage fresh!

 






                                                                                                              








Being able to adapt to different situations and occasions leaves our options more open to have fun together.   We are not limited and honestly I enjoy that.  Social class, age, music genre, it doesn't matter...we can make it work.  I don't understand those who limit their selves to so few things.  You have to push that threshold and step out of your comfort zone in order to really live!  Our lives will never be dull!  

We recently joined a gym and started working out.  That broadened our scope a little.  A gym is actually a very interesting place, filled with people of all shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds.  What ties them together is the reason that brought them all there in the first place, to get healthy.  The gym is the perfect example of what our marriage is.  My husband and I have many things in common and at the same time we can be very different.  Our common goal that brought us together, well to be honest at first, lust, lol...then love.  And being a versatile family is keeping it new and refreshing.  Step out into the world, live a little and learn a lot!  Until next time...

Full Time Marriage

Marriage is hard work, but so worth the reward!  I cannot imagine my life without my husband.  A husband and wife should be like a puzzle, when you find the right one you just fit together...perfectly.  That is my husband and I.  We have much in common, and at the same time we have different likes.  But that does not stop us from doing things together at all.  We are respectful enough to oblige each other and taking part in what the other one likes.  Its all about a mutual respect, and a deep love for each other.  

                                                         
In a world where commitment is nearly a lost virtue, I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to have someone I can count on to be there for me.  Monogamy seems to be losing value these days and I do not understand why.  I am totally floored when I hear of someone famous who was caught cheating.  I am totally floored when I hear of anyone cheating, but especially a star!  You are in the public eye and didn't think you would get caught?  In my opinion, they have just public announced that they have very little respect or regard for their spouse.  After all, that is what cheating is.  You have very little respect for your spouse if you turn to another for your needs.   

I have been the disrespected spouse (from my previous marriage) and let me tell you , it was not very good for the ol' ego at all.  Nothing worse than knowing you are not enough and that someone else is spending intimate time with the one YOU love. Add that to the fact that someone would have so little disregard for your feelings...it makes for a large therapy bill later in life.  This is where I count my lucky stars.  I have found someone who would not do that.  I know what you are saying, "How do you know he won't?"  It's called FAITH people.  We have such a great relationship, we are so open and honest with each other, I cannot imagine him ever hurting me in that way.

                                                

I could bore you with ever growing and undying love for my husband, but I want you to come back and read more later, lol.  I just want people to know that marriage is a full time job.  Its takes two to make it work and it takes faith to know its going to remain this good for ever.  We may not live the fairy tale life, but I sure do feel like a princess that has found her prince charming.  I am living my happily ever after...