Love, Faith, Respect

There are many ways to have a happy marriage.  What works for one couple may not work for another.  But the basics ring true for all...and they can be summed up in 3 words:

                   FAITH                          RESPECT                                   LOVE

I don't care who you are, without these you have nothing. FAITH : confidence or trust in your spouse.  RESPECT : a sense of the worth (and or excellence) of your spouse.  LOVE : a profoundly tender, deep passionate affection for your spouse.

I think that people throw the word LOVE around way too much and without truly understanding the meaning. Love is something that is built.  It is not found, it is not instantaneous.  It is not something you feel for a person, then next week you have a new "love", it just doesn't work that way at all.  I think a lot of people feel lust, possibly a strong like, but actually do not truly love.  Call me wrong, but at least hear me out.  

My husband and I were together for a year and half before we married.  That seems to be about average I guess.  What I don't understand are the ones that are together for less than a year and marrying.  I think it takes at least a full year to really to get to know someone.  Sure you think you love that person soon into the relationship, but that is the lust speaking.  That is why I say it is not instant.  But it makes for a great story to tell everyone it was love at first sight, huh? lol  I had very strong feelings for my husband when we first started dating, those feelings turned into love.  And as great as he is, it was not instant love. That is not possible.  Once I got to know more about him, that love started to flourish and look at us now! :)

LOVE is built, and it grows with the relationship.  Its awesome when the lust turns to love, and I bet most of us do not even realize when that happens.  I honestly cannot tell you when the lust turned into love.  I just cannot remember a day that I didn't love my husband.  We have been together now for nearly 4 years and it is hard to remember life without him.  As he puts it, "It just seems like you have always been there, I don't remember you not being there"...that folks is a good man who will never be back on the market! :)  

RESPECT : It goes both ways.  Never make your spouse feel like your enemy.  If you are having a bad day, talk it out...do NOT take it out on them.  They can be a sound board for venting, but don't use them to lash out.  Do nice things for each other.  Don't leave all the sweet little things to just one of you.  If you receive, you should give back.  Little things mean a lot.  Along with respect is value.  You have to value what is done for you, whether it is done out habit, kindness and just because.  

And FAITH: There is a very thin line of difference between trust and faith.  It is very important to trust your partner and have faith in yourself to keep your marriage strong.  Do not let past experiences dictate your future.  The past is the past for a reason.  Leave it there, move on and have faith that your marriage is meant to last a lifetime.  

Faith is powerful and moving...and does not always have to mean religion.  Faith is a strong belief, and your marriage deserves a strong belief!  Your spouse will be there for you when others are not.  Your spouse has put you first, above themselves.  You should do the same. 

It comes down to this folks...without FAITH, RESPECT, and LOVE...you have nothing.  A marriage cannot function on any one of those alone, it has to be all three.  Of course you will have your moments of disagreements and not so easy going days, but as long as you have each other and have faith, respect and love backing you up, you are going to last a lifetime...and be better for it.  Ahhhhhhh, happiness!