Don't Poop With The Door Open

Everyone has read articles on "how to" have a great relationship, but I thought I would change it up a little.  How about tell you things that you NOT do?  Take it or leave it, but here it is...read on:

DO NOT ever miss the opportunity to say I love you.  These three words carry more power and meaning than any other three words in the world.  One of my favorite sayings is this: When I tell you I love you, I don't say it out of habit, or to start a conversation.  I say it to remind you that you're the best thing that ever happened to me.  I don't know about you, but I feel those words can do so much.  They can cheer someone up when they are feeling down, they can lift their spirits higher and confirm that is truly is a great day.  They can make someone feel at peace with the world...all of that from three little words.  

                                              

DO NOT stop having fun with one another.  All of the silly little things you did together in the beginning, keep it going!!!!  Be it silly faces, corny jokes and imitating for a laugh...DO IT!  There is a wonderful thing that happens when you laugh, endorphins are released and pleasure follows...I wasn't going "there", but whatever, you want the happy feelings...lol. 

DO NOT think you are smarter than your spouse.  Know-it-all people are annoying.  We are all guilty from time to time, but their is a difference between occasionally knowing you are right and being down right arrogant about most things.  Confidence is a great thing, but NEVER ever let it get in the way of your relationship.  It is OK to know the right answer and not correct someone all the time.  Its even OK, (GASP!) to be wrong once in a while.  After all, whatever the issue may be, is it really worth an argument?

DO NOT put your spouse down to others.  Even if it is just a little rant to your friends or coworkers.  I don't remember the exact number, but the saying goes something like this:  For every negative/bad thing you say it takes 10 positive/good things to cancel it out.  So if you are ranting to others about your spouse and never saying much about the nice stuff, their image of your spouse is tarnished.  If and when you do say good, they are less likely to believe it.  Then you will get upset with that person when they say something about your spouse.  Its a vicious circle, just do yourself a favor and NEVER do it!  Also, if there is a huge need to "bitch" about your spouse, there might be a problem there and your relationship is way beyond my blog.  Just sayin'...

DO NOT stop holding hands!  Its a small way to say you care, to feel special, to feel close. It take little effort but yet says so much.  It's not a childish thing that you grow out of and it's very endearing to have that contact.  It kind makes me lighter on feet and makes me feel a little tingly when my husband reaches for my hand.  I instantly get the urge to lean into him a little, for the extra closeness.  That little token of love goes a long way.

DO NOT stop doing nice things for each other, OFTEN!  I am not talking about how a man should buy his wife flowers and jewelry monthly, (but its OK if he did, lol), but just give them little ideas of how much you appreciate them. It can be a gas station rose, replace the air freshener in the car, help with the dishes, sweep up the garage.  It doesn't have to cost a thing, just do something!  I like to throw little notes in my husband's lunch, maybe make his breakfast once in a while if I have a few minutes, rub and or scratch his back while we are hugging goodbye in the morning before work.  It's the little things.

And last, but CERTAINLY not least......................

DO NOT Poop with the bathroom door open!  Under no circumstances is this every a good thing.  The occasional emergency when you have to pass some toilet paper or they are very very sick MIGHT pass for an excuse, but other than that...Yuck!  It's sometimes bad enough that you have to be in there yourself, and sometimes it's bad enough when the smell seeps out into the house.  But why in the hell would you want to be there while someone is pooping!   I don't know about you, but I have a bad enough self image of myself after having three kids.  I don't need to tarnish the image of me naked by husband seeing me sitting on a toilet "assuming" the position.  It's wrong.  Don't do it. Ever. 

We all know the "sittin' on the toilet" lady

That being said, I would love to hear some other ideas from you.  Yes, you!  The one reading this blog.  I know that there are some out there, I have over 5000 hits so someone is reading.  Share your ideas, what would be on your DO NOT list.  Until next time...

25 Reasons I Love You

25 Reasons I Love You

1.  You make me smile.

2.  You are my best friend.

3.  You are a WONDERFUL dad.

4.  You have a soft side.

5.  You are honest and trustworthy.

6.  You stand by my side.

7.  You’re a GREAT husband & married to me for an eternity! J

8.  You always make me feel special even when I am not.

9.  You are a terrific cuddler!

10.           You are AWESOME!

11.           You are genuine.

12.           You bring out the best in me.

13.           You always cheer me up when I am sad.

14.           Two words…red one!

15.           We can have fun ANYWHERE!

16.           Thinking of you gives me goose bumps!

17.           You take care of our family.

18.           We are so good together.

19.           You care about me.

20.           You have AMAZING eyes.

21.           We have so much in common.

22.           I hope my boys grow up to be just like you!

23.           You are the handy man of our family.

24.           You accepted me and the kids for who we are.

25.           You are you, and that is the best.

I love you!

Am I Damaged Goods?

There are days that I sit there and think, when is this dream over?  Am I about to wake up and be right back where I was?  If this is a dream, it's very realistic and at the same time, hard to believe.  I have a hard time believing that my husband is mine, all mine.  And I don't have to share him.  When we took vows, he took them very seriously, as did I.  This was not the case with my last marriage.  That one was filled with lies, deceit and heartbreak.  I keep waiting for the bottom to fall out of my happiness...

This sounds so negative, even as think it, type it, read it.  I know it sounds terrible to think, but it is in no way a slam on my husband.  He is a wonderful person and treats me better than I ever thought I could be treated.  But when your past won't get out of your head,  it puts a slight damper on the present.  My husband doesn't say much about my past, he knows about it, he knows it bothers me.  And I think it bothers him.  He has to live with the shadow of my past looming over us.

I would like to think it doesn't effect our relationship, but there are times I am sure it does.  You would think it would be a piece of cake, you know being such a great guy after that loser.  But there are challenges.  Like I said above, I sometimes find it hard to believe that there isn't "another woman" or several for that fact.  Not that I think that is the norm for any relationship!  I just dealt with it for so long, I prayed it would stop for so long and it never did.  My life is kind of like one of those too good to be true things right now.  Therefore, the bottom has to drop out at some point, right? 

I can be told 1000 times that my life will be perfect from here on out, but there is some sort of filter in my brain that is keeping me from fully believing this.  And once again, this is not a slam on my husband at all.  It is not his fault at all...but I don't know how to fix this and make it right.  Am I what they call damaged goods?   

I pray on a daily basis he doesn't just finally decide that this is not worth the headache, hassle or trouble.  I know deep down that he would not do that, but everyone has a breaking point.  I fear that my past could push someone to that.  I am a lot to handle, and I was a package deal.  He took it all with great acceptance and love.  For that he deserves sainthood.  He is my dream come true, he is all I ever wanted and more.  He was the missing piece to my puzzle of a heart. 

This is kind of a downer of a blog for me write, I have actually been working on it off and on all day.  It is just one of those days where I look at where I was and where I am and think, "OK, that's it..." and BAM!  My great life is gone.  And it's back to the old ways.  I love my life and I love the way things are going.  It's not always sunshine and roses, but it is always filled with love.  I don't ever want it to end. I can't imagine not having what I have right now.   

Regardless of what this blog may lead you to believe, I love and trust my husband with all of my heart and soul.  I have faith that our marriage is sacred and will last our lifetime.  It's just those moments that won't leave your head, the few times that the past rears its ugly head.  I will tell you this.  I think it is getting better.  I have good days and I have bad days.  I tend to over think things at times, and that makes it not such a good day.  I just have to remind myself that I have a good guy.  I am not perfect, he is not perfect, but together we are perfect for each other.   We keep working at this and that is what makes a happy marriage. 

He's Not Perfect

This sums him up completely! And I wouldn't have him any other way...I love my husband!

Always Kiss Me Goodnight

I cannot say for certain if "rituals" make your marriage better or not.  I can say for certain though, I love my husband.  We have a routine, ritual, whatever you want to call it.  It ends our night, every night.  And without it, somethings seems off.  When it is missed or not done just the right way it throws off the whole next day.  

I have become so accustomed to it, and I don't know what I would do if it didn't happen anymore.  And it's not like it is done without emotion or feelings.  There is no mechanical feel to it...it is done from the heart and with deep emotion.  I get excited at this time, I know it is about to happen!  It makes me feel so loved and wanted, I can't even explain it to you.  Now...get your mind out of the gutter, I am talking about our good night kiss routine! 

It is the same every single night and it never gets boring or mundane.  It is something that I look forward to so much that I am getting goosebumps just thinking about it!  It is special, sacred and all our's!  It means a lot to both of us and ends our night on a great note.  It is the prelude to me cuddling up in his arms and slowing drifting off to sleep.  I love my husband...  

   

                           

I Love My Husband

<---This says it all, (in the simple version).  I just simply love that man of mine.  He can make me smile on the saddest day, and he can make my smile bigger on the best day! 

This would be a more descriptive version --->
And it still does not say everything I feel.  I do try to tell him as often as possible how much he means to me.  I remind him frequently that he melts my heart with a glance.  I try to spoil him here and there to let him know he is appreciated. 

And although we are far from perfect, we are perfect for each other.  I have never felt more sense of belonging.  His faithfulness  makes me feel unconditionally loved and respected more than I have ever been.  This blog may not seem to have much of point to those reading it...but it gets the message to my husband, and that is all that counts. 

So ladies, there is nothing wrong with letting your husband know how special he is to you.  Share it often and speak from the heart.  I think it makes for a stronger, happier marriage.  Here's to the rest of our lives...I love my husband.

Perfection, blah, blah, blah

I don't know about all of you, but I plan to stay married to my husband for the rest of our lives.  Yes, this is a second marriage for us both...but when you finally get it right, well you just don't want to lose that.  We are not anywhere near what society would call perfect, and I am just fine with this.  

According to Merriam-Webster they define perfect as: being entirely without fault, corresponding to an ideal standard.  Now I don't want to necessarily stand out, but I am not really a "fit in" kinda gal either.  The same goes for my husband, except the gal part of course, lol.  Sure I like some of the same things as others, be it clothes or a hairstyle but I am far from conforming!  I constantly complain that I need a new style, and to be honest I am not sure I actually have a style to change, lol.  But I am OK with that, and so is my husband.

No matter what image I have myself in my head, it obviously differs from my husband's image.  I know that all men think they are obligated to tell their wives they look great, the tell them they are beautiful, that they don't need to change a thing.  Now in a woman's mind, she is instantly thinking, "liar"...I, like most women will always have little insecurities about ourselves.  I too doubt at times when my husband gives me a compliment.  But its not a strong doubt, its more like, "Huh?  For real?"  And most of the time, I actually believe what he is saying to me.  Not because I am overly confident, lol...but because he makes me feel that way.  And that folks it why I am never letting this man go! 

I can say without a doubt that I am married to the most handsome man in world, just looking at him sets the butterflies off in my stomach. Hearing his voice, ahhhh!  Goose bumps!  I am not sure if he thinks exactly the same thing about me, but I am gonna guess he kinda likes me since he is still with me, lol.  My whole point to this blog is when you have that perfect person, (and I do!), hang on to them.  Even if there are days you don't see yourself as a great catch, just remember, they do!  You might not be everyone's cup of tea, but when you are just right for each other you over look the chips and imperfections...